Apply the Gitmo test

The latest Uniquely American Spectacle, the continuing manic obsession over all things celebrity, is of course Paris Hilton's forced return to the pokey. In and of itself, it's a sneeze droplet or small speck of dust on the radar of your life and Otto's. But the modern-day Left has chosen to step in -- again? yes, AGAIN -- and try to politicize it, and my Anger Meter spiked while reading the morning 'net news, and it's time to counterweigh those bastards.

As a short aside: I mean, is there ANYTHING that these people won't try to turn into The Next Great Struggle? I'm feeling a dump coming on here soon; is that in danger of being politicized? Yes, Otto, it already has -- ever heard of the enviro-toilet?

So we begin...with the old reliable vane, The New York Times:

The Most Right Highest Honorable Reverend Al Sharpton: "...decried Ms. Hilton’s release as an example of “double standards,” saying consideration was given to a pampered rich girl that would never have been accorded an average inmate."

The Breck Girl: "Even the presidential candidate John Edwards found himself drawn into the debate. When asked about Ms. Hilton’s release on Thursday he said, ''Without regard to Paris Hilton, we have two Americas and I think what’s important is, it’s obvious that the problem exists.”

And from a diarist on The Daily Kos: "There's a lesson to be learned from what is going on with Paris Hilton: Americans love it when the rich and powerful get served."

Rich. powerful. Two Americas. The same old tired shite, trotted out once again.

For starters, the Constitution guarantees you a day in court but it does not say a blessed thing about your right to have a five thousand dollar an hour defense attorney working your case. Why should it? In the same way, no one who is without health care coverage can or should expect their treatment from the Mayo Clinic or whatever. One of the reasons you work hard to get ahead and make more kwon is so that you can avail yourself of these high-end services if the situation ever arises. The best legal and medical help...for free? That's just a microwaved plate of leftover Communism, pure and simple.

So here's my suggestion, to be used on anyone you come into contact with the next couple of days who spouts off about Paris Hilton and the rich and the powerful and etc etc. Ask the person this question:

Do you think the United States is justified in holding suspected terrorists down at Guantanamo?

If the person answers Yes, then at least there's some consistency and stick-togetheredness in his/her thinking. A Law And Order point of view. Because that's the bottom-line issue here -- the safety of the community and our country. That's why Paris went to the pokey. That's why we punish people by using jail time. We make it safer for the law-abiding by getting and keeping the law-breaking off the streets, and at the same time send a message that further bad behaviors will lead to more and longer jail. It's safety, pure and simple.

But if the person answers No, then ask him/her to explain how we as a community and country are made safer by keeping Paris Hilton in jail and letting the Gitmo bunch free.

Otto's suspicion is that for this latter group, it's not about safety so much as retribution. Punish the rich and powerful. Punish America, even. It's a sickness of the mind that I'll be damned if I can explain...except to say that these people are just plain Haters.

So apply the Gitmo test. Identify the deranged. It'll help you safety-wise.